problematiC

mmm..i don't know what is my problem but all people surrounds me are plastic...even thought they don't say anything badwords to me..i just keep on thinking that they don't like me!and i don't care of them!sometimes i keep on crying w/out any single reason..sometimes i keep on laughing...i know that all of my friends do not like me...because of their actions..it is so very clear to me that they don't like to talk w/ me or jam w/ me..but they are plastic you know...mmm..i trust nobody...coz they are all plasticz..and they are all using me!!!honestly!i'm not afraid to diE!.!because i don't like my life now!!i wanna kill myself but i won't..coz i'll wait the signal of god..!!i won't deny that i'm a chain smoker and a drunkard!!coz i want that all my friends know what is the real me..i'm a boyish,a gangster and a stupid person!!i'm not ashamed to tell to my friends who is the real me...mmm..whoever reads this stupid blog...help me!to change..